I'm back!

There's been a lot of upheaval around here, so I forgot to post that, though we didn't try in December and January, we're back to it now.  It was nice to be able to drink and have fun during the holidays.  And January was insane as we hosted a New Years party at my in-laws' house, I coordinated a friend's wedding, we went through the loss of a (very young) family member, and finally, we moved!  We found a great new house with so much more room:

Obviously, the "nursery" is more of a future idea; we're referring to it as the "small guest room" for now (Ryan keeps saying "it's for a small guest!").

Since we started trying again, I've found another resource that has been helpful: the Glow app.

It helps track your cycle and gives you a checklist of things to accomplish and/or log daily.

Even more interesting, it breaks down your percentage likelihood to get pregnant, based on the info you have entered on your cycle.

It's been super helpful so far.  We'll see how it pans out!

Pressing Pause

So, I'm not pregnant after our second try.  Which is... ok.  Because when I got antibiotics for the UTI, they weighed me.

O    M    G

My exact face when I saw what the nurse wrote down.

OMGOMGOMGOMG.
I can't even write the number.  I haven't told Hubs other than crying and declaring that I'm fat (he's wonderful and swears i'm not).

My Reactions

I used to keep a weight loss blog and I can't even fathom this - or how it got this bad.  To give a hint, if I had been pregnant, I would have been at risk for gestational diabetes.  As it is, the extra weight might have been affecting my fertility.  So, while it worries me that we didn't get pregnant already, I am kind of relieved that I'm not going to be the HUGE pregnant lady.

The day of the weigh-in, Hubs and I talked and decided that we are putting the baby-making on pause for December.  That will give us time to either get ready to move or decide to stay in our current place, be able to drink during the holidays, and, most importantly, lose weight.  I'm not expecting a 50 lb drop in one month, but I would like to get rid of about 15-20 lbs before we start the process again.

In other news, here are some random things:

• Ryan now has interviews at 7 different programs - Tampa, Miami, Gainesville FL, Seattle, SLC, Minnesota and New Jersey.
• I'm about to get crazy busy coordinating my coworker's wedding - so excited!
• We may have found a new place to live in Orlando (with a pool!)
• From tracking my ovulation we're starting to think I have a lazy ovary.  I've had weird/no readings on the monitor every other month since I started tracking my ovulation.  With the plan to skip December, that would have us trying in January on "wonky ovary" month - if they go back and forth.  So who knows when this will actually happen!

We'll see where this month takes us!

Because of Zygotes

(meant to post this a week ago, oops!)

...So, I think I have a UTI.  From all the "baby making."  I don't (and won't) know if I'm pregnant, my OBGYN hasn't called me back and Dr. Hubs is hesitant to prescribe me anything "because of zygotes" (no kidding, that is a direct quote).

Well, because of zygotes, I'm freaking out about the possibilities of whether I need antibiotics.

Better Luck Next Time

I had a post planned on how two negatives make a positive (maybe) because I've had two negative pregnancy tests but loads of pregnancy symptoms.

But I think I just started my period. 

Since Friday, I've been nauseous, dizzy, tired, have had a heightened sense of smell, and I had some light spotting, which I thought could be implantation bleeding. I thought that I might just be testing too early, but it appears that I'm just not pregnant.


UPDATE: Not pregnant.  Got my period today, and all the symptoms went away.  Searching the Internet revealed that lots of women have the same thing happen to them.  It sounds like fertilization happened, but implantation didn't - which happens to about 40% of fertilized eggs.

Downside: no baby.  Hubs was getting excited, and I hate for him to be disappointed.

Upside: "Heeeeeyyyyyy! We get to have more conception sex!!" - Hubs
And:

Usually on sale at ABC for $7.99!

 

The Dreaded Two Week Wait

Well, I know for sure the monitor is working!  This past Friday, I got a "high" reading, then Sunday, I got this:

Of course, Ryan was out of town all weekend, but we did manage to get in some "quality time" Friday before he left and Sunday when he got back.

So, now, I'm in what's referred to at the Two Week Wait (or, 2WW or TWW).

It sucks.

Take my anxiety problems, add in the fact that this is something I CANNOT control, multiply times a million.

Can I drink? (Probably shouldn't)  Do I have pregnancy tests? (Yup)  Should I exercise? (Maybe avoid hot yoga - not that I've been in months, thank you FL summer) Was that twinge I just felt implantation? (No)

Am I going nuts?

YES.

Luckily, I got the same reading on the monitor this morning, so I'll be jumping Hubs again when I get home, just to make sure.  Which at least gives me something to do besides wonder.

When I got to work this morning, I Googled "Two Week Wait" and got some helpful links:

• Am I Pregnant? What NOT to Do During the Two Week Wait
• Surviving the 2 Week Wait
• Early Pregnancy Tests: Weeks 1 - 4

Apparently there are whole forums devoted to the TWW!  Nice to know I'm not alone in my anxiety!!

Next update in approximately two weeks!

Updates in Ovulation and Places to Live

So, I didn't ovulate last month.

At least that's what the fertility monitor says.  And, I didn't experience any symptoms that would lead me to think that I did, so boo.  Obviously it's way, WAY too early to freak out over this.  But still.  Not real happy about it.  We were in San Francisco at a conference when the monitor quit asking me to pee on sticks.  I came back to bed and cried while Ryan told me that it was ok, and that the monitor just didn't like me :)

I did find out that I have a 22 day cycle, which is shorter than most.  So I probably ovulate around day 6-10.  If the monitor doesn't have me peeing on sticks by day 6 (in just a few days), I'm jumping hubs no matter what.  He certainly won't mind, and at least I'll know that I tried!


We also have an updated list of possible places to live.  Since applying to 10 places is the same price as the 7 or so that he actually wants to go to (yes, we have to pay to apply, pay to go there, and pay for the exams he'll need to take before. Awesome.), there are 10 possibilities now:

 

 

In order of my preference:

1. Tampa, FL
2. Gainesville, FL
3. Nashville, TN
4. Chicago, IL
5. Miami, FL
6. Rochester, MN
7. Salt Lake City, UT
8. New Brunswick, NJ
9. New York, NY
10. Boston, MA

I don't think Hubs has a clear choice right now - he's just concentrating on where ever will let him in.  I'm sure he'll have his pick; he's a smart one!


Finally, I think I have gotten it through my head that I'm far too overweight to contemplate being pregnant right now.  At least, I know I am so out of shape that I would never survive labor at the moment.  So diet and exercise start right now.  Even though PMS tiredness just about killed me last week, and I did nothing but go home and sleep after work, I'm turning over a new leaf this week. I am eating better (no more excuses!) and the only way I am going to catch up on TV is if I am on my stationary bike.  I want to be a cute preggo, not mistaken for just being fat!

BDing w/ DH for LO who I will EBF... OMGWTFBBQ

Hubs and I have decided to wait a cycle to start trying (This decision based solely on the fact that we are going to San Francisco next week and we want me to be able to go out and drink.  Responsible parenting right there!), so I thought I would write something on the ridiculous abbreviations I keep coming across in books and online that have to do with fertility and conception.

My husband is a gamer - WOW and Starcraft mostly - and he got me into WOW.  One thing most people know about nerdy online gamers is that there's a whole other language being used:

"Can't cast" - "I can't cast a spell and am probably going to die,"
"Sheep him!" - "Turn that bad guy into a sheep, rendering him defenseless"
"Lok'Tar!" - Orc for "victory!"
"pwning n00bs" - Killing players who are low level
"qq more n00b" - (sarcasm) "Go ahead and cry about that some more"
"L2P" -  "Learn to Play" which I've been told a few times :(

...are some that come to mind.

One that I've never quite understood was OMGWTFBBQ - OMG and WTF are self explanatory, but BBQ?  Idk.

When I started reading about conception and fertility, I learned that this world, not unlike the World of Warcraft, has its own language too (from The Leaky Boob and The Impatient Woman's Guide):

AF - Aunt Flo (period)
AP - Attachment Parenting
APNO - all purpose nipple ointment
BBT - Basal Body Temp
BC - Birth Control
BD - Baby Dance (sex)
BF - Breastfeeding
BFP - Big Fat Positive
BFN - Big Fat Negative
BM - breastmilk
CIO - cry it out
CLW -child led weaning
CM - cervical mucus
DD - Dear Daughter
DH - Dear Husband
DOC - date of conception
DS - Dear Son
DTD - Do the deed
EBF - Exclusively Breastfeeding/breastfed
EBM - expressed breastmilk
EGCW - eggwhite cervical mucus (means you're fertile)
FTT - failure to thrive
FT - full term
FX - Fingers Crossed
HCP - health care provider
HPT - home pregnancy test
LC - Lactation Consultant
LO - little one/loved one
MC - miscarriage
MW - midwife
NIP - nursing in public
OB - obstetrician
POAS - pee on a stick
SAHM - Stay At Home Mom
SAHD - Stay At Home Dad
SAHP - Stay At Home Parent
SO - significant other
STTN - Sleep through the night
TTC - trying to conceive
US - ultrasound
2WW - wait time from ovulation to using a pregnancy test

... And that's just a small sample! OMGWTFBBQ!!

Take a look at any message board about fertility, childbirth or parenting and you'll see whole paragraphs that look like:

"DH and I have been TTC, just got EGCW and BBT rose, so BD tonite! FX during 2WW to POAS on HPT and get BFP!!"

Whatever happened to, "I'm ovulating, so tonight's the night to get pregnant!" ????????

Honestly, I would never refer to Hubs as DH (gag!) and if the term BD ever came to mind while we were TTC I'd probably laugh too hard to DTD!  And I don't know why it's so hard to type things like "pregnancy test" or instead of BFP, just saying "I'm knocked up!"

Keep it simple, folks!

Time to Start Peein' on Sticks!

...No, not a pregnancy test (yet).

So after reading The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant (as well as What to Expect Before You're Expecting, which I DO NOT recommend) I quickly decided to skip taking my hoo-ha's temperature or investigating my cervical mucus (side note: I know that there's plenty of gross stuff that goes along with getting pregnant and having a baby, as well as changing diapers etc, so why not eliminate as much ick as possible!?!) and just get a fertility monitor.  The Clearblue Easy monitor, to be exact:

That's a little underwhelming, and my rug in the bathroom looks like crap.  How about this:

Much more appropriate to the level of fancy here!

Basically, if you are trying to get pregnant (or, you might want to know this is you're trying not to get pregnant) you have around 6ish days out of the month of higher odds, with about 3 of them being optimal for getting preggers.  Not that I don't enjoy getting it on with Hubs, but wouldn't you want to know if you were even in the ballpark?  Besides, now he has 3 days of guaranteed sex!!  And, later on, I'll have a much clearer idea of a real due date. (Off-label benefit: I can keep drinking wine until my hormone levels rise!)

So, starting with day 1 of your cycle (the day your period starts, or the day after if it starts in the afternoon), you turn the thing on, tell it you're starting a new cycle, then pee on a stick when it tells you to.  It measures the amounts of estrogen and LH, or Luteinizing hormone, to tell you when you are about to ovulate.  If you're trying to get pregnant, having sex just before and during ovulation increases your chances (the "just before" having more to do with the life cycle of sperm etc.  Read all about it in TIWG).

Today, I didn't even have to pee on a stick - if it's day 1 of your cycle, you're not fertile.

From here on out, I turn on the monitor every morning (before going to the bathroom so my pee has the highest concentration of hormones) and do what it tells me to do, taking note of where the fertility level is (low, high, peak/ovulation).

It's almost baby-making time!!